One of the most solemn questions any man will ever face is, "Do you take this woman to be your lawful, wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, until death do you part?  And do you promise to love, honor and cherish her, in sickness as in health, in prosperity as in adversity, and keep yourself for her and her only, as long as you both shall live?"  This is the vow a man is asked to make in traditional wedding ceremonies.  Many of us have made just such a vow, and unless the Lord returns soon, most everyone will make such a vow. 

I’m not reminding you of these wedding vows to be sentimental, or to try to draw a tear from your eyes.  I do this because I want to remind those of us who are married just how solemn these vows are.  They are based on what the Bible teaches.  God will hold you to these vows whether: (1) your parents do or not, (2) your friends do or not, (3) the church does or not, or (4) society does or not. 

God has not dictated the words which must be said in a wedding ceremony.  But God has given a marriage law, and in it He declared what a man’s commitment must be to his wife and his treatment of her (and vice-versa).  Such vows as previously mentioned simply reflect what God re-quires.  While the vows verbatim cannot be found in the Bible, the Bible in its teaching provides the basis for the wedding ceremony and the vows traditionally made. 

Marriage is a covenant between the man, the woman and God.  In the wedding ceremony, a man and woman make vows to each other and God. Malachi 2:13-14 says that God is a wit-ness of the covenant between a man and his wife, and He also testifies to the emotional devastation that occurs when the covenant between them is broken. 

Social laws that conflict with God’s laws are to be obeyed (Romans 13:1-2; 1 Peter 2:13). Whatever legitimate requirements society may impose on those who wish to be married must be obeyed. 

God’s marriage law is very strict, and He is very strict about that law. Numerous Old Testament passages impress us with the importance of keeping vows that are made (Numbers 30:1-4; Deuteronomy 23:21,23; Psalms 15:1,4; etc.).  In fact, God’s marriage law is so strict that the Lord’s disciples complained about it when Jesus first taught His law to them – "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry" (Matthew 19:10). 

Having made these three points, I want to consider the wedding vows with you in point-by-point fashion.  Space does not permit the examination of vows by both husbands and wives, so I will examine only those of the husband, and will trust the wives to make the adjustments necessary for application to themselves. 

This reminds us that in marriage, man is accepting his companion.  And he is accepting her with her weaknesses and imperfections, with her peculiarities and eccentricities.  Some of those weaknesses and imperfections are obvious before marriage; others will become obvious after marriage …and may be irritating.  If you really don’t accept her as she is, then it is very unwise and unfair to marry her. 

This reminds us that some marriages are not lawful.  Romans 7:2-3 says, "For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives.  But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband.  So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man."  It is possible to be married unlawfully (Mark 6:17-19; Matthew 5:32; Matthew 19:9). 

In marriage, the wife becomes the possession of the husband, and the husband becomes the possession of the wife. 

This does not fit modern ideas.  Some people have a carpool mentality:  as long as we’re going in the same direction we can ride together; it is never intended that they belong to each other.  The biblical view is that the wife belongs to the husband, and the husband belongs to his wife (1 Corinthians 7:2-4).  Some people do not want to give up the freedom and independence that is forfeited in marriage; then they should not get married! 

This reminds us that marriage is permanent.  There is one, and only one, exception – fornication (Matthew. 19:9).  It does not say, "except for…incompatibility, drunkenness, failure to be a good provider, him becoming a lazy couch-potato, her ballooning to 50 pounds overweight, he finds a better catch, etc."  This relationship is from "I do" until one of you dies.  There is one, and only one, exception to that rule – divorce for fornication. 

Some people are not capable of loving anybody but themselves (Romans 1:31; 2 Timothy3 :2).  They are capable of deceiving themselves and others.  They are capable of saying "I love you"…especially when it helps them to get their way, but they are not capable of truly loving someone else and consistently demonstrating it. 

The Bible teaches that husbands are to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25,28), and wives are to love their husbands (Titus. 2:4).  The depth of that love is to be such that a husband would die for his wife (Ephesians 5:25, 28). 

The biblical basis for this part of the wedding vows is 1 Peter 3:7 and Ephesians 5:28-29.  1 Peter 3:7 says, "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that you prayers may not be hindered."  Ephesians 5:28-29 says, "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one every hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church."  "Honor" means to recognize the other person’s value or worth, to esteem.  "Cherish" means to treat with affection and tenderness, to hold dear. 

Now some questions for husbands:  Do you treat your wife, and do you speak to your wife and speak about your wife, in a way that shows you truly love, honor and cherish her?  Does she know it?  Do others know it? 

A question for wives:  Do you act in such a way that makes it easy for your husband to love, honor and cherish you? 

Husbands, your wife may be struck down with crippling arthritis, or because of cancer she may have a double radical mastectomy, or she may be involved in some terrible accident that leaves her severely burned.  Question:  Will you still love her, honor her and cherish her? 

Wives, your husband may lose his job and have to settle for a lesser job making substantially less money, or he may feel the pressures of his job are so great and are making him so unhappy that he may need to take another job with less pressure, prestige and money, or he may become totally or partially disabled, and it may mean that you have to go to work and contribute substantially to the family’s in-come.  Question:  Will you still love and respect your husband? 

This is a vow of sexual purity and fidelity.  It is a vow that says, "I will not commit adultery."  God condemns adultery and commands that we be pure and holy in our behavior (Hebrews 13:4; Galations 5:19-21; Revelation 21:8; Proverbs 5:15). 

There may be times when it is not possible for your wife to meet your sexual needs.  What will you do then?  There may be long periods of separation – as in times of war, or as in a time of imprisonment.  Your wife may suffer a prolonged illness.  She may lose her physical beauty.  Will you still keep yourself for her and her only? 

Remember Romans 7:2: "For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives."  Note that it does not say, "As long as the two of you are compatible," or "Until you find someone who appreciates you more and understands you better." 

If you are having problems in your marriage, I want to make two suggestions.  First, renew your commitment to keep your marriage vows.  Not just the vow to stay together until one of you dies and the vow to be sexually pure, but all the vows.  Second, apply the Lord’s teaching about how Christians ought to treat one another to your marriage relationship.  For in-stance, have you ever thought about how Philippians 2:3-4 applies to your marriage?  Please understand – if your religion doesn’t work at home, it doesn’t work! 

If you and your wife live up to the vows that are typically exchanged in a traditional wedding ceremony, you will experience a little bit of heaven right here on earth.  You will be a blessing to each other and to your children.  You will be a blessing to the church and the community in which you live.